+until my left was my right and up became down

Waking up well rested, cold rain appropriate for the season, wooden platforms, perfect breakfasts, real nervousness, situational eloquence, four hugs in a row, surprise run-ins, yummy lunches combined with catching up, feeling loved, silence and pauses, christmas wreaths on the belmont mansion, planning get-togethers, making the time, smiling, catching up under cozy blankets.

+don't let the bones the closet may hold get in the way

"You're okay, you're with me here in the silence.

With all of the violence crashing around

Saying we can't go, saying we don't know.

This road is narrow is the one we should follow.

We'll never be ready if we keep waiting

For the perfec time to come

Won't be steady, we'll never be ready."

- Mat Kearney

Waking to the sunrise and brewing coffee, noticeable change, reflections on water, cold air, camera in hand, apartment balconies, hearing old stories, finding a similar soul, feeling the absensce, asparagus, leftover turkey, glasses of water, reunion, phone calls, planning.

+we should all go, break down the walls being built around us

Sleeping in, cup after cup of home brewed coffee, soft carpeted floors, dancing in the basement, fresh fruit juice, learning the difference between cookware brands, owning measuring cups, turkey, old disney movies, sweet messages, easier, low-key, visits, care, cereal.

+haven't you noticed me drifting, oh let me tell you i am

Book titles, learning silence, no distractions, green grass, possibilities, excited about my turn, preparing for advent, the ability to drive to family, pets, devon's voice on the phone, singing at the top of my lungs in my car, regimented, the ability to write, the ability to find peace, connections.

+i won't ask, you won't tell, just come around

Long runs with dogs, cold weather, the way your lungs feel after being in the cold for a run, warm showers, clean hair, purring cats, steinbeck, hiding, the smell of lots of foods cooking at once, video games, socks, deep breathing, funny text messages, being thankful, pajamas, lots of blankets, clean kitchens, white plates, heavy glasses, family movie night, journaling, warm lighting, wanting to think.

+and the more i learn the more i don't understand

Anything pre four am, empty roads, asking for help, easy mornings, black coffee, pumpkin flavored anything, ease of depth, good hair day, orange slices, a safe ride, knowing when to refrain, brothers in law, the basement, new house numbers, grass for saffi, cats, dr. mario.

+thought about the first time i met you, all those glances that we stole

Sleeping on it, understanding what it means to give God worries to deal with, getting better, beautiful artwork, slow mornings, self-confidence, important discussions, giving haircuts, wearing a t-shirt and a scarf on a cool day, running into my past, asserting, quiet abandoned classrooms with sunlight streaming in, being more aware of sunsets because they happen so early, alone time, hard workouts, empty places, not feeling intimidated, articulation, being asked, tennis shoes, diversity, mountains, "ugly" days, time to pack.

+see i know my destination but i'm just not there

Good transitions, laughing at myself, enjoying work, the caf's thanksgiving feast, pumpkin pie, conflicted thoughts that lead to discovery, trusting the unsettling, still wanting lunch, knowing when to go and when to stay, the coldness that rain in november brings, sustained and directed stillness in class, sharing, editing photos, writing, praying, friends who know I just need to talk things out, that grin I know far too well, knowing I'll accept it in the morning, learning to really question.

+i think we've got what it takes to get this heart start beating it again

Packing neatly, sunshine reflecting off of wood floors, explorations on my own, battles, photography, hills, blinds, warm air, God time, local coffee shops, free parking, mess, talking through everything, historical music, connecting deeper, wreck and ticket free, beautiful starry skies, feeling more at home at Belmont than ever.

+and the stars they seemed, to paint the most elaborate scene today

No alarms set, the farmer's market with great new conversations, golden pears, freshly homemade bread, exploring local coffee shops, long walks with map in hand, traditions, cuddling, reading, routine, big and amazing breakfasts, campus cultures, a wedding on-campus, instrumental music, seasonal collections, hard wood floors, my brown boots, learning to play a video game, christmas tree lights, plaid, open fields for miles and lakes with fog, football with pizza, falling asleep on devon's shoulder, a big fluffy bed all to myself.

+with tears of gratitude, i like my latitude

"This day could someday be an anniversary - everything is light and sound. Facing forward going slowing, wait for you to show me where this train wants to go. ... Everything is soft and slow. Now all these tastes improve with the view that comes with you. Like they handed me my life for the first time it felt right." -Jets to Brazil

Meeting in the kitchen, beautiful sunrises behind us, headed West, cheap but good coffee, perfect timing, getting started right, the idea of scholarship halls, pictures of families, up-to-date, friendly greetings, being okay with slow conversations, driving tours, red roofs, hilly terrain, turning a cold demeanor into warmth and depth, craving academics, envisioning a life somewhere new, small houses with lots of character, eating at recommended restaurants, another new city, being adventuresome, exploring, good opening bands, watching someone who is deeply passionate about music enjoy a concert, being strong enough, the warmth of a bed no matter the current city.

+one foot in and one foot back, but it don't pay to live like that

"Load the car and write the note. Grab your bag and grab your coat. Tell the ones that need to know - we are headed North." - Avett Brothers

Remembering what it feels like to overachieve, water bottles, long-sleeved t-shirts, final paperwork, sweet remembered good-byes, melodies, making good time, brake-ing early, flowing conversation, sing-a-longs, cheap gas, friends who help out, going north, the gateway arch, sinking into a warm bed when exhausted, texting from the upstairs to the downstairs.

+and i have waited the anticipation's got me glued

Routine, new book, clear sinuses, resisting the cupcakes, a clean room, checking in, the way carpeting warms a room faster, polite workers, admitting when i need to, fast oil changes, vacuuming, real popcorn, light purple, answering, remembering to smile, showing, finalizing our trip together, people to hold me up, fuzzy pajama pants, cushiony bed comforters, deep breaths.

+but if i let go of everything the stars compose a song to sing

"The practice of paying attention really does take time. Most of us move so quickly that our surroundings become no more than the blurred scenery we fly past on our way to somewhere else. We pay attention to the speedometer, the wristwatch, the cellphone, the list of things to do, all of which feed our illusion that life is manageable. Meanwhile, none of them meets the first criterion for reverence, which is to remind us that we are not gods. If anything, these devices sustain the illusion that we might yet be gods - if only we could find some way to do more faster. Reverence requires a certain pace." -Barbara Brown Taylor

Pancakes with cinnamon syrup, enough time to talk, stories, putting the cell phone away, cups of coffee, knowing when sniffles mean getting better, running through the cold, needing heavier jackets, intense focus, working through any annoyances, finding joy in debating, watching encouragement take place, being hugged, feeling loved.

+good times compounded upon good times

The bigger picture, thin scarves, diligence, paper chains, surprises from a lovely lady, indulging in a homemade cookie/brownie, being taken out to lunch by surprise, walking up and down every aisle just to spend more time together, bursting with feeling loved, approved lease, fitness, kelly coffee, sleepiness, the last few leaves hanging on.

+holy wisdom, love most bright

Getting out of bed, cello music (yo-yo ma), gift cards, time to sleep, big t-shirts, burnt grilled cheese sandwiches, stepping back, red holiday cups, day dreams, the way it feels to roll over and be well-rested, warm sunny november days, remembering thanksgiving, handwritten cards, aritculation, bearing the weight, sorting through and being reminded of my faith, support every moment, booked flights to philadelphia for Christmas.

+time there's always time

Waking up at noon, sleeping, chicken noodle soup, devon, sleeping, cozy blankets, going to bed at 8:30.

+'cause you knew you were finally free

+you won't admit it and i won't be around

Studying that's worth it, friendly discourse, centered, smiles that make me laugh,  proper grammar, weakness pushed through, healthier, daydreaming, financials, confirmation, listening unbiasedly, motivating words, diligence, catching up, dating the best caretaker in the world, nyquil allowing me to sleep.

+after a long dark night, bathe in the morning light

 "Go and live your lives so that those to whom love is a stranger may find in you generous friends." -a Methodist prayer

Waking to the sunrise, new forms of connection, understanding newness, loveliness, being called out, overcoming pride, a new collection of music, team work, management, friends who come around just when needed, inspiration to the extreme, follow through, lunch in the sunlight, keeping appointments, that classic feel, delicate cups with saucers, the setting sun outside a garage door, resolution, adoration, helping, celebrating, evenness.

+what we lost means nothing for the memories will stay

Sleeping off fevers, small town feeling, seeing the benefit of frustrations, laughing at e-mails, long hugs, warm yellow scarves,  polka dots, dark denim, old and new friends all mixed together, standing up for myself, articulating thoughts, healing, prayer, not giving up on someone, two hour evening naps, shk, funny stories, over-caffeination, first times, good memories, birthdays.

+you only disappoint the ones who don't believe

Little victories, red trees, the smell of fresh wood, open windows, new hiding spots, filling in and being necessary, apartment shopping, imagining what comes next, candlelight, craigs' list, cancelled class, perfect weather, support where it's needed most, understanding phone calls, being cared for when sick, hot tea, the home phone, stylish clothing, success for close friends, being low maintenance.

+the pulse of life within my wrist, a fallen snow, a rising mist

Committing, morning after formal make-up, learning new information and meeting new people, seeing the larger scope, explaining generations, sunshine, mellow music, orange juice, little plans, alicia's listening, cute messages, water, gut feelings, sandwiches, sitting up straight, deep connectedness and ease, goose, pottery, watching real love.

+and my resting place is taught by love

Sunrises, alicia, family, birthdays, bubber, dad's coffee, dark yellow, lunches that need reservations, warm boots, tomato soup, old streets, letting myself be a daughter, dispelling some stubbornness, long phone calls, sunsets, appreciating the birmingham skyline, not missing, cobblestone, talented friends, arms, games, posture, noodles, fevers, classic windows, superlatives, heels that don't hurt, dancing, ties and bowties, pins, good talks.

"Grass is always greener on the other side. The search is never over in the pastures of my mind. In the meaning of happiness drowning in smiles, or that dreadful world I left behind? O, Lord grant the grace to accept who I am, who I am that You have designed. And I know there's a plan that you have up your sleeves, Rabbi teach me the faith to believe. It's the only way my life will every make sense to me" -Chris Rice

+I wanna have pride like mother has, and not like the kind in the Bible that turns you bad

Airports, fighting alarm clocks, not stopping, yogurt, cardboard boxes, lanterns, unconventionality, enough fruit, initiating from him, plans set in stone, goofiness that makes me grin all day long, canceled classes, creating new recipes, surprised and relieved faces, high energy, happy tears, square lamps, fixing it ourselves, colorado talk, catching up.

"I wanna have friends that I can trust that love me for the man I've become not the man I was. I wanna have friends that will let me be all alone when being alone is all that I need. I wanna fit in to the perfect space, feel natural and safe in a volatile place." -Avett Brothers

+sun turns the evening to rose, stars turning high up above

"I know that you think you're not good for anything, the world makes you feel so small...And oh, isn't it starnge how things can change you? And oh, isn't it plain that some things unname you?" -The Weepies

Problem solving, hard work, getting out of class early, early sunrises, taking the time to be still, collages, votes of confidence, film class, forgetting to wear makeup, running into, thick borders, prayer closets, crisp green apples, follow-through, small rings, cold air, intentional date night, the 5th of november, whole foods' staff, baking pie, imagining, freshness.

+we walked home together, i was never the same

Discipline, the office, weights, anything by Robert Benson, hummus, ease, crunching leaves, strong winds, deep yellow, reading outdoors, frozen fruit of all kinds, smoothies, thoughtfulness, embarking, rekindling, manuscripts, library books, talking loudly, stares, girl-time, consistency, later nights, sleeping heavily, journals.

+and when i see you i really see you upside down

Butterflies, wheat toast, prayer, five pieces of gum, focus, patience, lockers, good hair days, accomplishment, solidifying news, ripples, sunshine, feeling like it's my birthday, genuine support, mailbox letters, paper fans, spiritual updates, learning the rhythm of prayer, coffee paired with apartment hunting, even more butterflies (the excited variety), hardwood floors, making big choices, feeling safe, dreaming, homemade dinners, shk up, oatmeal cookies, a quick hug, our own lives, counting down.

+then one day you smiled and said my name

More than I thought, library books, robert benson, caf meals alone, trying on dresses I could never afford, frilly shoes, jaw dropping good news (twice!), feeling like I hit the lottery, crossing my fingers, seven weeks, apartment shopping, gardens, passing up the lesser, explanations, surprsing each other, daisies, cool whip, parodies, that laundry smell, yellow lanterns, not studying but assured, flannel hugs.  

"And this is our reward for being brave. For doing what was right and never playing it safe - and who could ask for more?" - Straylight Run

+you might not have meant to but, it's time you can't take it back

Long runs, sunrises, daylight savings time, the smell of the countryside, patience, maturity, cup after cup of coffee with conversation, no plans, big meals, chopsticks, relaxing, alertness, driving under the speed limit (still), realizations, getting over things quickly, loving genuinely, caring genuinely, long phone calls, knowing small portions of what I want, realizing my time in life, grateful for the same page, glistening, Nashville is home.

"We are collapsed in the act of just being here." -Stars

"Another turning point; a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist; directs you where to go. So make the best of this test and don't ask why. It's not a question but a lesson learned in time." -Shameless Green Day lyrics