+we expected something, something better than before

Good music stuck in your head all day, lots of focus and feeling healthy, little visits to and from, how the sun can heal things, the time for getting better, follow-through, safe roads, how meals feel like home, rosy cheeks because of cool fresh air, intentionality, mandolins, the national.

+i'm so sorry for everything

Seeing a dear friend again, a huge cup o' coffee for morning traffic, caution, sunshine, fullness, getting the bigger picture, kid-meals, doors closing, raspberries, having an unwavering quality, not turning away, long discussions just like before, 1/4 of a cup, being able.

"Baby, we'll be fine
All we gotta do is be brave and be kind
I put on an argyle sweater and put on a smile
I don't know how to do this
I'm so sorry for everything."

+there's no place to hide but i don't think i'm scared

 

Waking up to old memories, making and finishing a list, so much coffee, neighbors, how the sun melts away worries, squeaky wheels, snow ball fighting, syd, grass for hair, carrot stick noses, being with someone who keeps me smiling, a full stomach, ongoing shows, not needing the heater, understanding from a dear friend, fuzzy socks.

+you were right about the end

Chocolate chip pancakes, feeling like it's a ghost town, feeling like the world is closed for the day, letting the weather control our actions (for once), the coziest fort ever made, harry potter, lengthy letters, bubble baths, walking with the camera, little kids especially in snow outfits, chocolate, fighting with myself, becoming wiser, feeling protected.

+walk away now and you're gonna start a war

Being proven wrong, watching the snow come down in waves, watching Belmont turn white, preparations and staying warm, the new yorker, hearty lunches, snow angels, snow fights, free hot apple cider, old favorites, sweet 80's romances, a classic, good emails from grad schools.

+do you really think you can just put it in a safe behind a painting, lock it up, and leave?

New album, how the temperature can drop in a few short hours, projects that keep me busy and interested, organization of little things, deep reflection, another go at it, making plans and lists, time spent doing and teaching photography, explanations, spontaneous ice cream adventures, coupons, made up mandolin songs, a good backrub after a week of hard workouts, new ways of being frugal, preparations.

"Looking for somewhere to stand and stay, I leaned on the wall and the wall leaned away." -The National

+and today was supposed to be not just another day

Cheerios, valuable work, endless leftovers, freshly made bread, how the sun reflects when it is at such a low angle, cool breezes, squeezing things in, getting better at checking voice mail, understanding the direction, bare trees, knowing that regrowth is about to begin, constants, feeling inventive, looking forward to it again, newness again, visits, addresses, secret doors, new boxes, a new resolve

+so let's get out of here, past the atmosphere

Breakfast creations, time to reflect, new treadmills, jogging again, small steps towards stability, the squishy mats in the beaman, staying warm in the cold, understanding acts of humility, surprise sightings, taking a nap midday, bowl of cereal dinners, a packed student section, unison, who I actually have always wanted to be with, flow, three-points, just being with, good time spent.

+you told me i'm golden

The turning of weather, endurance building, realizing needs, wanderings, leftovers having dinner made for me, new music, pop corn from the stovetop, sweatshirts and blankets, closing another day.

+livin' inbetween sunset and sunrise

Fun interactions early in the morning, that cup, simple toast, filtering, cheap produce, cooking with company, making a recipe that smells like home, sunday afternoon restfulness, having the time to paint my nails, working through it, feeling importance, the other side, editing, just sitting, reading, leaving things scattered because something else is too important, heavy blankets that always do the trick.

+she'd stay that way if it was up to me

The way a good night of sleep feels, Saturday morning cleaning that reminds me of being home, the ingeniousness of clorox wipes, smiling even when you're alone, long walks on breezy days with good friends, simple relaxation, more walks, curled hair, using the resources at hand, the power of wind, a hug for every three-pointer, being frugal, making dinner that is tastier than any meal out, celebrating birthdays, bowling adventures, my iu hoodie's warmth.

+something in my heart will not give up on you

The idea of secret hideaways, shared, calm about the big things, ability to be consistent, running into people who have changed me, well-written lyrics, reaching the end of books, a new recipe, hearing stories, analyzing life in the only way we know how, good situations, peacefulness, the chance to discuss, frustration turning into relief and deeper love.

+we're moving forward but holding ourselves back

Cooking up a breakfast as the sun rises, vibrancy, extra room, new projects, the freedom to be creative, fireplaces, carrots, routine setting in, expectant about a meeting, at ease and confident, excited about the opportunity, simple but tasty dinners, arriving early, the new yorker mixed with npr, stillness, to the game solo, yoga routines in my living room, feeling compassion and the ability to dwell in silence.

+and i'm getting closer than i ever thought i might

The calm and quiet of rainy dark mornings, raspberry smoothies, new restaurants within walking distance, respect, long mom phone calls, hearing thunder but being safe, soup and grilled cheese on a rainy day, a filled apartment, good conversation, handwritten note of thanks, dishes done, looking back, being in the now, goofy workout videos in a tiny living room, laughing hard, big long hugs, easy to bed.

+come and be everything i am and all i know

Feeling safe, packing lunches, sunshine, a new class, testing the waters, feeling healthy, flakey biscuits, sticky notes, playing frisbee in an open field, fresh air, walks, the new patio, the smell of wood, follow through, my duck/swan/goose/bird coffee mug, double-checking, unexpected snail mail, tennis shoes, joining in, meet-ings, being able to comfort, a good verse.

+a little alone but it's alright, we are always living in twilight

Sleeping with a dog at your feet, sleeping in, peeking sunshine through the clouds, finishing touches, breathing easily, the smell of fresh laundry overwhelming a room, warm clothes out of the dryer, play time, overlooking, cheaper than you thought, counting down the hours, home workout videos and in all their overdramatic glory, sweet sweet reunion, catching up, hearing what God has done and is continung to do, time together, cooking for a friend, sharing stories and sharing life, realizing we are all together on this, grocery shopping together, ease of living again, vigilance.

+keep holding on

Warmth and friendship, overcoming, Harry Potter from the beginning, a new lunch location, catching up with someone who knows me all too well, spending the day together, trash to treasures, exploration, church on my own, sinking in, understanding how God constantly walks with me, small homemade dinners, even more time to spend with a wonderful friend, necessity.

+let Your turth be on our steps and in these rooms

Not being as shaken, sleeping in, curling up with a good book a puppy and a bowl of cereal, mckay's bookstore, needing my family, learning very important lessons, community, preparing for sleepovers, bowls full of grapes, relaxing times ten, taking care, depth, slumber parties.

+You always know where to find me

Real meetings, warmer days, lots of sunshine, the glee soundtrack, playing with a cute dog, leftovers, late movies, new hangouts, laughing out loud, learning how to, clean smells, heavy blankets, routines, blue ink.

+do you love your mind if you lose control?

Cooking pre-dawn, the smell of strong coffee brewing, lunches in kitchens, genuine joyfulness, having time for long goodbyes, new strengths, three different readings, low pony-tails, library organization, afternoons cleaning up, homemade veggie soup, meeting sophie, details remembered, bustling coffee shops, day-old-cheap-cookies, reality tv with calming friends, the ability to still hang out with good, close friends.