+now i just want to see you smile you know how it's just been awhile

Cleaning and time and energy, health and breathing, magazines and books, fancy cooking and preparing a feast, catching up with Lauren, desiring sunshine to break through, full use of the library, soft clothing, basketball obsession (?), teal blue/green, Saturdays and the way they feel endless sometimes, lovely movies, helping with videos, beyond the level of full.

+but if i move my place in line i'll lose

The sun peaking through puffy clouds, relaxing schedule, ken-kens, npr & the new yorker and their intelligent commentary I appreciate, talking to candidates, smiles from across the table, candles in cars, catch-ups that seem easier than most, kitchen-ware, eating local and it being the best meal in a long-while, basketball post-dinner for the 4th night in a row, good old movies, night-yoga.

+no one loves me like you, no one loves me the way you do

"As I survey the ground for ants
Looking for a place to sit and read,
I'm reminded of the streets of my hometown
How they're much like this concrete that's warm beneath my feet."
-Caedmon's Call

Half-awake goodness, earlier days, appreciating focus, the re-establishment process, oh sweet yoga, looking forward to afternoons in the sun even if it's a job, breaking through the patterns already established, care-taking and learning how to teach, constant plans that make me feel alive, spaghetti, basketball games and feeling the wind in our faces, chartering a new course for us both, mud stuck to shoes, laughing at all the sports stuff, imagination. 

+and i'll be on the other side to catch you when you fall

Morning pilates in my living room, longer strides, happy thinking sorts of days, giving devon haircuts and that he even likes them, sweeping, accidentally napping, good evenings and efficiency, beyond amazing dinners, alicia's element, caring about different things, new bluegrass jams.

+nobody said it was easy

"I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart."
-Coldplay

Bananas, the way your body feels after you stretch it out, Josh Ritter, relaxing schedule, new 'shortcut' recipes, comfy work clothes, pandora, hearing familiar voices return again, emptyness and silece of a break week, motivation, new smoothies, baking baking baking, celery sticks in peanut butter, JJ's late at night, brick walls, ecclectic design & people, sharing thoughts.

+give me a break let me make my own pattern

Driving with the sun, sleepy goodbyes, mcdonalds coffee (so cheap), scents that fill you with smiles, long afternoons in the park, chacos(!!), shorts, slow-paced, surprise visitor for errands, new movies to dive into, amazing albeit late dinners from scratch, basketball one on one, understanding and time to re-group.

+it's only a change of time

Keeping up, new formats, appreciation of generosity, sitting idian style, more interviews (!), fancy lunching, elevating moods, energy, my best friend, how the oscars feel like watching a family, the promise, lounging around, the creek, quiteness and stillness.

+i'm nowhere and you're everything

Shimmering sunrises, morningsingenerallikealways, multiple walks, big shopping trips, fresh fruit for miles, tasty cookouts, a new basketball, feeling the love once again, sit down concerts, people watching, old people dancing, glowing robots, calmness.

+maybe i don't know where they'll take me, gotta keep movin on

A packed car that's ready to be driven, packing cereal for lunch, sweet messages and notes that fill me up with smiles, peaches in grocery stores again (even if they're not exactly ripe yet), lovely friends both near and far, recovering gently, bananas, rolled down windows, open roads, the family at dinner together, eating my body weight in chips and salsa, cutting up old t-shirts for saving/future crafting, feeling safe and protected in a real house again.

"And don't apologize, for all the tears you've cried -
you've been way too strong now for all your life."
-Mat Kearney

+a bridge weak enough to walk across

Designed well, sturdiness, lunch breaks outside, unwavering love when it is needed most, wrestling, s&c's, continued realizations that people are necessary, basketball, lists, burnt crusts, cookies with thumbs up approval, cinnamon, strawberry jam, desperation, old 90's bands.

+and i don't know what it is

"A need for something, now let me break it down again

A need for something but not more medicine." -The Avett Brothers

Cheerios, firsts, enjoying meetings, being able to support someone, not drowning, blushing, craving for more than the simple, helping with 8th grade homework, animated vocab, casual clothing, scarves, trader joe's for almost anything, fresh dark roast coffee, intiative, trying to understand how to accept love, the idea of the night-time sky, wonderings as I drift into sleep.

+just the tall grass and the trees - silhouettes and crickets singing

Crepe batter ready for breakfast time, steaming hot coffee that makes any cold and rainy day feel better, management, support from unexpected places, headbands of any sort, feeling every part, organization, desiring efficiency, imprints, news, easier than I prepared myself for, fruit salad / yogurt, falling asleep on my best friend’s shoulder, fantastically driven.

+don't let the human factor fail to be a factor at all

Walking...everywhere, pleasant weather, dalmatians, new books that get you from the start, feeling like it would be a good idea to go ahead and run towards freedom, creative recipes with what's left, looking forward, ink, higher, waiting on something and it being worth it.

"If we can call them friends then we can call them on red telephones and they won't pretend that they're too busy or they're not alone. And if we can call them friends when we can call - holler at em down these hallowed halls. Just don't let the human factor fail to be a factor, at all." -Andrew Bird

+holding loose ain't letting go

A sleeping cave, allowing myself to lazily begin, more and more notes, wax and seals, witty exchanges, re-arranging again again, fantastic brunching, solitude, warm clothing, impromptu walks, genuinely proud and excited for friends' successes and progress, perfect dinners, playground-ing, frisbee-ing, feeling loved, granting joy, pushing ourselves, the balance between what is time and what is freedom.

+the fire shines as truly as the sun shines, but it does not shine so far or to as many purposes

"Let me dismiss you with an easy request of Saint Augustine: simply love yourselves. That person does not love God who does not love self. Simply love yourselves. For if you love God, you would live eternally with God, and if you desire that, and attempt it earnestly, you do truly love yourself, and not otherwise" -John Donne

Early birds, prayer-filled, re-learning, notes galore, new font types, new bbq, clean clean clean, a lengthy walk and the way fresh-air feels all over, perfect smoothie recipes, adorable dogs outside, helping out, feeling in place, busyness for a purpose, basketball and the most interesting of combinations, photography in the recording studio, new atmospheres and thoughts to think, brilliantly written sitcoms.

+make your masterpiece out of each day in me, i beg You, beg You

Walking to work while talking to mom, sunshine again, appreciating the people who fill my time, saying goodbyes in style, my heart aching for better things, being strong enough now, logic, reeling from a good evening, realizing I cannot ever repay certain things/people in life and that is normal and good, elegance, lima beans, making dinner together, adventures, good quotes, coffee, getting into weighty conversations that mean so much to me, falling asleep to the sound of the highway.

+i close my eyes and keep on swimming

The smell and look of a big pile of finished laundry, sweaters, sunlight beaming, npr, enjoying the people I work with, extra afternoon time, the way yoga stretches every part of you, snacks, connecting and lightbulbs, plans and strategies that motivate, simple dinners, making time and never being more excited, fascinating new series, trusting and letting go despite how scared I may be.

+oh chariots, if you're out there, please swing low

Staying dedicated, braided pigtails, my boyfriend's warm hat, new friends, good coffee, knowing the locals, sweet comments, grapes, keeping it creative, visits, finally connecting, adventures in crepe making, spending my evening with a cute puppy who loves everything and anything warm, relaxing, orange juice in the cold weather.

+i thought i heard somebody callin in the dark i thought i heard somebody call

Cozy mornings, understanding Lent more, dresses even when it's blustery, responsibility, the way that people open up and enjoy themselves, learning, wonderful soup, taking the afternoon to explore, running into friends, understanding relationships, free pancake night, sharing good laughs with old old friends, realizing that it's still winter!, efficiency, letter-writing.

"The great danger facing all of us is not that we shall make an absolute failure of life,
nor shall we fall into outright viciousness,
nor that we shall be terribly unhappy,
nor that we shall feel that life has no meaning at all - not these things.
The danger is that we may fail to perceive life's greatest meaning,
Fall short of its highest good,
Miss its deepest and most abiding happiness,
Be unable to tender the most needed service,
Be unconcious of life ablaze with the light of the Presence of God -
And be content to have it so.
That is the danger: that some day we may wake up and find that always we have been busy with husks and trappings of life and have really missed life itself.
For life without God, to one who has know the richness and joy of life with Him, is unthinkable, impossible.
That is what one prays one's friends may be spared - satisfaction with a life that falls short of the best, that has in it no tingle or thrill that comes from a friendship with the Father."

-Phillip Brooks (1835-1893), Sermons

+and the foundation is crumbling

Unknowns and butterflies, excitement, loving maturity, support and encouragement, new experiences and new knowledge, opportunities, feeling fortunate, realizing there's no better time, realizing time is a gift, necessities, plan ticket shopping, dinner planning, soup/salad/frinedship combos, airport runs, freshly ground coffee, fabulous conversations, ironing so Devon looks sharp tomorrow, laughing so hard it hurts, the ever so wonderful The New Yorker.